I came. I came to. I came to believe.

"If You Want Me To"

Ginny Owens

One night as I sat alone drinking with my demons all around, God showed up. I remembered my friend who had married one of my very closest friends but had since divorced her. He had been sober for 20 years. I had hope that he could help me.

Not only did he help me his church paid for me to go to Harbor House, a treatment center in Byram. These people had never even met me but loved me enough to see that I got the help I needed. My friend bought my ostomy appliances the entire time as well as keeping me supplied in cigarettes. I told him what a blessing he was to me but he told me he would be the one blessed. I entered Harbor House on April 9, 2007. I had started detoxing my self from alcohol on April 5 so that I would be a little bit sharper and less sick when I got there.

I was welcomed with open arms and hugs from complete strangers. Suddenly I felt safe, mostly from myself. Harbor House was a God send. The staff were friendly but firm. I always obeyed every rule and never got inro trouble because I was so grateful to be there, plus that's just not my style. We had more free time on our hands there. We had lecture every day, group every day and Big Book Study. There was a volley ball court we could use. We could do our laundry for free and there were soft drink machines and coffee made all day long. We all had a different chore every week. Mopping, keeping coffee made, cleaning the restrooms outside the unit, cleaning the smoking patio, etc. Of course we were responsible for cleaning our rooms and making our beds on a daily basis. What treatment really tries to teach you are the basics of taking care of yourself when you leave treatment. Considering most of us spent all of our time when we were using looking for drugs and using drugs things like bathing and dusting your house were not even on our agendas.

I went through 8 weeks of primary treatment and was accepted into their transition program. There were two fairly new duplex apartments on the Harbor House grounds where the transition girls lived. Each side was identical with 2 bedrooms containing 3 beds on each side of the living room with a bath on each side. The living room was furnished beautifully with a large television that we were only allowed to watch after 5:00 PM. Each side also had a large well appointed kitchen where we prepared our own meals as a group. Lights out was at 10:30. We were required to go to meditation at 6:00 AM. The most significant difference in the primary program is that we were required to get a daytime job but we only allowed to work no later than 6:00 PM. This was so we could go to group at night 2 times per week and attend outside AA or NA meetings.

The only job I could find was at Good Will Industries. I could write a book on just that experience alone. I was one of several folks who sat outside a covered area and sorted bags of donations by clothing, household, appliances, toys, etc. Who knew people would put their childrens soiled underwear in a donation bag for Good Will? It was also August so the temperatures were actually close to or more than 100 degrees. I worked there for 2 months. It was a humbling experience for me and I needed that.

It came time time to make a decision after the 2 months in transition had flown by. I could go on to another facility called New Life for Women or try to make it out in the real world again and this frightened me terribly. And there was still no car which would make it hard to get to work. We were transported by van to our jobs while at Harbor House. I decided to continue my treatment at New Life.