You Never Know Who You Will Meet At An AA Meeting

As I mentioned before, my drinking over Mr. Wrong breaking my heart was really only my addiction manifesting itself for the first time. I was born an addict and they will tell you in treatment and AA that while that is true in many people's cases many times traumatic things that have happened to you can also play a role. It can be a combination of the two. At this point in my life I was mainly using alcohol to sleep because, not only have I been an insomniac since I was a teenager, my broken heart and racing thoughts of what went wrong in that relationship made trying to sleep torture. Alcohol fixed my sleeping problem. I've always had very bad hangovers but it seemed like a reasonable trade off for blessed sleep.

My family encouraged, well, insisted that I go to an AA meeting. The boyfriend of my best friend had been in recovery for several years so I asked him about where I could find a meeting. He was so kind and not only told me about a meeting he sometimes went to he offered to pick me up and take me. It was held at St. Columbe's Episcopal Church in west Jackson. I turned out to be the only female in the meeting. There were several long tables pushed together to form one long one. Seated at the tables were several older men and between them all there must have been at least a hundred years of recovery. Leading the meeting was Hugh Turner, a man of about 65 or 70 who, in his drinking days, was the bartender at The Sun and Sand Motel. The stories that man could tell would make your jaw drop! Hugh recently passed away and he was at least 90. He was considered the father of AA in Jackson. No one was more loved, revered and respected than Hugh. His is and always will be missed.

After the meeting got underway a group of men of various ages came in a few minutes late. They got their coffee and sat down. Of course, what do I do but spot a tall, dark, handsome young man who appeared to be about my age. The rest of the meeting we smiled and exchanged glances at each other. Needless to say my mind was not on the meeting. Turns out the group of latecomers were from a halfway house close by the meeting and that is where they could be found every night there was a meeting there. I made sure I was, too.

Here I was in a room filled with so much solid knowledge about recovery and how to get sober and I'm visually flirting with a guy at the end of the table. I was standing on the cusp of sobriety and not taking it very seriously at at all.

A few meetings later when everyone was leaving Bob and I introduced ourselves to each other and he told me he was from Natchez. He was quickly called away by his counselor to go get in the van. Fraternization with the opposite sex at meetings for those still in treatment, as he was, is frowned upon and just generally not allowed.

He did sneak me a note when we were leaving a meeting a few nights later with his telephone number at the halfway house asking me to call him. There were no cell phones in 1987 so I rushed home to call him.

I leaned that he had been in treatment twice and had decided to go into the halfway house for transitional treatment. This allowed him to live in a sober environment and get a job during the day as a construction worker. This also gave him the time to go to meetings at night. He asked me if I would like to go and get something to eat the following Friday night and I didn't hesitate to accept. He had no car so I would have to pick him up.

I nervously waited in the car as he walked out his door to get into the car. He got in an immediately gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Wow! Let me just describe this guy to my female readers. He was 6'3”, had dark olive skin (he was half Panamanian), dark wavy hair and hazel brown eyes with what can only be described as a beautiful face. I was falling!

Now, ladies and gentlemen, one of the first cardinal rules in recovery is: DO NOT GET INTO A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. If any of you have ever seen the movie “28 Days” with Sandra Bullock, the entire rule is after a few months you can get a plant, after you've kept that plant alive for 1 year, then you can get a pet. If you've still got the plant and pet (preferably alive!) after another year, you might be able to go out for a cup of coffee with someone. Nothing will make you drink and/or use quicker that a romance gone wrong! Obviously we paid no attention to that!

After a few months of dating and making out in the car, I was getting ready for work one morning and there was a knock at my door. There stood Bob with a garbage bag full of his belongings and his boom box. Let me just describe the efficiency I was living in in Belhaven as the size of a large walk-in closet with a small bathroom with a shower. He had taken the day off and decided to come move in with me. What a surprise but I actually loved it!

Once again, I had to go through the whole bag saga but all was well, he didn't care and our little walk-in closet apartment because our love nest. We were very happy...for a while.