Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

Bob continued to use while I remained sober after the great cocaine debacle. It's really impossible for two people in a relationship to have their addictions to drugs and alcohol manifest themselves at the same time. You will end up either in jail or dead. However, my addiction was Bob, which was perhaps as dangerous as any drug. It's called Co-Dependence where a family member or significant other is addicted to caring for and cleaning up after the addict. I loved him. I wanted him to get sober and have a great life with me. Sadly, things were not going in that direction.

He was a welder and a very good one. However, his addiction kept him from being a good employee. He was constantly calling in sick or just didn't show up, being fired and moving on to another job.

One Monday morning his Jeep wouldn't start so I was taking him to work. He had been on a particularly long binge over the weekend which was awful enough. We were on the interstate going to his job in Peal back before the stack when the interstate required your being in the left lane. As I was veering left around the big curve, I said something which I absolutely do not remember, and he back-handed me in the face. I managed to keep the car on the road but my nose was bleeding and, of course, I was hysterical. I got him to work and he got out and slammed the door. Then I had to call in sick. My nose was not broken but it was swollen, bruised and bleeding profusely. I actually got light headed before I got home and pulled into my driveway.

Aside from the physical manifestations of Bob's anger on my face there was the fear and emotional devastation of having violence rearing its ugly head in my world again. Should I go? Stay? Call the police? I couldn't go home to mother who was by now divorced and living in her home again! She would surely call the police and then probably go beat his ass! Couldn't have that. So, I'll give you two guesses and the first two don't count. I stayed.

He got a ride home from work and apologized profusely for his actions of that morning. Wanted to take me to the hospital, blah, blah, blah. Again, and I cannot reiterate this enough, once you have opened yourself up to violence and violence occurs in your home once it will happen again. Believe me! I know first hand. Again, I felt I deserved it.

The slapping around became more frequent. An almost funny story, if a beating didn't come at the end, happened one night as we were coming up Lakeland Drive right across the street from St. Dominic's Hospital. The Jeep broke down. Bob looked under the hood and, of course, couldn't figure out the problem. He saw blue lights coming toward us from way down Lakeland Drive and he ran! The policeman pulled up behind the truck and was apparently too far away at the time Bob ran or he would have probably pursued him. The police don't like it when you run. He got out and looked under the hood. The gas gauge had never worked so he thought maybe it was just out of gas. I gave him my last $10 and he ran up the street to a gas station and got some fuel.

What happened next was horrible and comical all at the same time. He put fuel in the truck but it still wouldn't crank. He then tried priming the carburetor with the gas. He got in and the truck cranked right up...and then the engine promptly went up in flames! I can still remember the terror I felt that Bob's truck was burning up.

The policeman ran to his car to grab a fire extinguisher and quickly put the flames out. Well, the truck really wasn't going anywhere now for sure. I had to have it towed but I had empty pockets after the $10 for gas that burned the truck up. Back to the hospital to call my dear friend and co-worker, Diane, who called a tow truck and put the fee on her credit card for me. They towed it to a shop and gave me a ride home.

The house was empty and I still didn't know where Bob had run away to. Half an hour later he came walking in. It seems he had a suspended drivers license, 4 unpaid DUI fines and dozens of unpaid speeding tickets. He ran to the hospital and went onto the roof and watched the whole entire event unfold leaving me to deal with the debacle. He was so angry AT ME because the engine caught on fire that he pushed me through the shower curtain, into the tub and hit me several times in the head with the fallen shower rod. The next day was another sick day for me.

Not only did Diane pay the towing fee she offered to put a new engine for the truck on her credit card. She was is a hellish marriage herself and I guess felt sorry for me. I told her I wasn't sure I could ever pay her back and I couldn't with money. However she eventually divorced her husband and stayed at my mom's house for 4 months. She told me my engine bill was paid in full at that time. What an extraordinary woman she was then and is to this day.