During the aforementioned 5 years a
change came into our lives. That change was Walter Sinks. He was a
“nice man”, successful in business, attended Calvary Baptist
Church as we did, and just happened to live right down the block from
us. Someone introduced my mom to him and they began dating. I was
3-years-old at the time. I hated him from the start. My mamaw was
always jealous of my mother, in a way. She was jealous of my father
at first but after she saw what a wonderful man he was she loved him
dearly. Not so with Walter. She would refuse to babysit me if they
were going out on a date so I got drug along to most of them. I
really hated him and having any attention from my mother being taken
away from me when he was around. I remember I nearly kicked the
stuffing out of a booth at Primos Northgate until we were kindly
asked to leave. One mission accomplished but, what I did not realize
then, is there would be thousands of missions to come.
Come February 2, 1966 I got a step-dad.
Oh, how I cried! When he moved in everything changed - a lot! Not that it was stellar parenting on my
mom's and mamaw's part but they pretty much let me get away with a
lot. Like mom making me pancakes at 11:00 PM. I had never had a
bedtime and I'm sure there were many other atrocities I committed as
a toddler that they let slide. Not after Walter moved in! Bedtimes,
spankings, he yelled at me, screamed at me, told me I was stupid! I
was an emotional mess at 4 years old!
My Mom and Walter's Wedding
Have you ever seen a happier bride?
She should have run screaming from the room!
Then the ultimate betrayal came with
him making my Mamaw move out. If I had known about suicide at
4-years-old I would have found a way to commit it. She was my
Mamaw!! The person who I bonded with, the person that loved me so
unconditionally. I was lost without her.
I suppose you may be wondering where my
mom was during all this. I think she was paralyzed at the
realization of what she had done by marrying him and for once in her
life could not find the strength to do anything about it. I've long
since forgiven her having married a couple of really bad folks
myself. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Oh Denise...What a story you have to tell. No one really know what goes on behind ones own doors. It breaks my heart to think of you going through that. I think of my grand daughter Avery. She is 4. I can't imagine her dealing with that situation. I can't imagine you dealing with that situation. Your right about your mama. I bet she was just exhausted and anyone to lean on, to take some of the stress off would be welcomed. At least she thought so....
ReplyDeleteShe thought she was doing the best she could, as always. I've long ago reconciled myself to that. I promise to never post anything that is not true and honest. It's gonna get pretty gritty from here on out so brace yourself! Love you, girl!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading your blog again, because it is so so so entertaining!! That comment about your mother being happy in the wedding picture is HYSTERICAL!! Bless her little Pea pickin' heart!
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