Inconceivable

It didn't take me very long to figure out that I was hanging out with a bunch of straight-up alcoholics and there was nothing anonymous about them. Kay drank only on the weekends, usually. There were, however, a few times, actually more than a few in the 3 years we lived together that she would call in to work “sick” (code for hungover). She actually lost a couple of jobs over doing that. If she had just stuck to Fridays and Saturdays religiously she would have been fine or a least remained employed.

No one wakes up one day or has a life ambition of becoming an alcoholic or drug addict or both. Some people get hooked by their first drink or drug. I, like many people I know in recovery, got hooked over a long period of drinking with my new girl and my growing circle of wonderful (seriously!) alcoholic friends.

For the first several months of my new relationship with Kay we were very happy. However, her violent side that would rear it's ugly head at times aimed straight for me one Friday night in January.1984.  She had been drinking, I think with Bubba at his house. I just know that I must have said something very wrong in her book and the reason I knew that is because all of a sudden she rared back her fist and hit me hard on the right side of my head and I was on the ground. I cried and cried and cried! What did I say that was so wrong? I have absolutely no idea. The years have long ago taken that part of the story from my mind. I had never been hit...IN MY HEAD! I hadn't even had a spanking from Walter since I was probably 5 years old. I could not wrap my head around how hitting someone would be something anyone could possibly do.

Of course I got in my car, driving and crying. I love crying in my car because I can wail to the top of my lungs and that somehow allows whatever pain I am experiencing to sort of flow out of me. If anyone actually heard me, even my family, they would take me to the closest psychiatric facility and that would be Whitfield and I do not want to go there.

Really cannot write any more about this now. It's hard to relive a lot of this. I'll be back, though. Love y’all!