And Away We Go! But, Let's Be Sure to Stop at the Liquor Store First, Please!

"World in My Eyes"

Depeche Mode

For those of you who do not want a run-down on the different types of gay women – STOP READING NOW! But it could be educational and fun so read on, wusses! These are only MY observations so you can't Google them or look them up in Wikipedia.

There are of course masculine and feminine “lebanese” (code word, if I had meant the nationality I would have capitalized the “l”) but you really have to break that masculine part down into a couple of different categories. There are certain masculine lebanese women who wear the golf shirts, the plaid golf shorts, have short hair, etc. They think they have a set! The only thing that would keep you from thinking they are men is their breasts, which for some reason almost always seem to be large. Don't ask me why because I do not know. That might be something you can Google or look up in Wikipedia. Let me know what you find out.

The next category is your redneck lebanese. They also think they have a set! Again, with the short hair sometimes mullets but they tend to go more for Levi's and cowboy boots. And caps. they love caps! They're beer-drinking, good ole girls but they are were never interesting to me. I could go on and on but you get the picture, right?

What was interesting to me was the woman standing on the other side of Bubba's bed that morning. For privacy issues I will refer to her hereafter as Kay. She was masculine but in the coolest way unlike any one I had ever seen. She was indescribable but I will do my best. Almost shoulder length brown hair with bangs, she wore jeans and tri-colored Converse high tops. She wore button up the front shirts, usually untucked, and mens coats in cold weather or when we would go out. That woman loved her some coats! She adored Joni Mitchell and Stevie Nicks but most lebanese do. But her taste in music was very broad and interesting and, as time went on, I was able to integrate some of my music into her huge library of albums. This is the best description I can come up with.

It so happened that I was off that whole weekend. What was really nice was that Kay came back over later that morning. Bubba went to the restaurant he worked in and got (stole) 2 huge boxes of butterfly shrimp. So we proceeded to have a glorious stolen shrimp fry! Kay, as I found out, lived next door to Bubba in a small duplex apartment. Their friendship went way back and they loved each other dearly. That didn't mean that on few occasions they wouldn't get really, really drunk, disagree about something one or the other said and just BEAT EACH OTHER DOWN, but we'll get to the violence later.

Kay and I were immediately attracted to each other. Can't explain it if you held a gun to my head. I had never looked at any woman “that way” but it was definitely not her first time at the rodeo. She had been in a 4 year relationship with someone that she dearly loved. When it was over she found a random young girl to live with her but there were no feelings there and I think Kay did it out of sheer loneliness. You couldn't even call it a rebound relationship and in fact, the girl was moving out that weekend. Yay!

We were pretty much inseparable after that weekend. But there was still the grueling task of telling her about my condition. You would probably think that telling another woman about it would have been so much easier. To the contrary! Several tall vodka cocktails didn't even help with my courage! Imagine that! The saddest part of this little story is that I made her call Rebecca so SHE could tell her! What a wuss I was! Yet again, it mattered not in the least to her and we were on! I will not go into the private parts of our relationship too terribly much but we were together for 3 years so we must have been doing something right. Go ahead and get your typical “sex between two women picture” in your head. Got it? Now, throw that picture out of your head and stomp on it! The only thing she would allow me to do was kiss her. All I had to do was lay back and go to Heaven! Worked out perfectly for squeamish little me, don't you think? Why she would not allow me a fuller role I will never know. It was just her thing.

Are you still breathing? Pick yourself up off the floor and relax. Have you deleted me as a friend yet? If not, hang on for some more in my next post.